11 reasons that prove you have no control over your life and how to regain it!

11 reasons that prove you have no control over your life and how to regain it!

Some of us might believe that they are free and independent but almost all of us are being dominated without us even knowing of it. It is very important to know a problem to find a solution for it and most of us don’t even know the real problem. We know life is tough, we know what things are going wrong and we know we are facing problems but we don’t know what the root problem actually is ! We think we do but by the end of this article, you would realize you had no idea why things were going wrong in your life !

The problem is that whole our life is controlled by some other person and this issue gives birth to other issues of our lives. Wanna know who all are controlling you? How are they doing it ? And how can you stop them ? Read on !

1. I too love my parents, but even they are unaware about this :-

They obviously control our life, no doubt in that. In some countries, they control their kids whole their life, at other places, only until they become an adult. But you know what !! Even if they leave you be after you turn 25, still they control a major part of your life subconsciously. Because when are all in our childhood days, they shape our behavior, our mindset, our sense of right and wrong, our perception of other people, of the world as a whole, of life and SO MUCH MORE. So if you think this is YOU, think again !!!

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2. Friends are a necessity but beware :-

Most of us believe that things in our life are out of control, that they happen on their own, that we don’t play ANY role in what happens in our life. We might have the least idea that if WE are not in charge of our lives, then someone else might be !!! I mean, how is it possible that someone else is responsible for what happens in OUR life? Well, I ain’t blaming others here and neither should you. But there are things that happen with us subconsciously !! OUR FRIENDS control our lives to a great extent. More then we have an idea of. Have you ever felt that whenever you go out to meet a certain group of friends, you dress in a different manner? With some really close friends, we don’t care that much. With a new friend, we try our best to look decent !

It hurts us if they say something unacceptable about our hair, our clothes, our accessories etc, especially when it happens in between a group !! Why do we care so much about what our friends want us to be like? Why don’t we care about what we want instead? WHY DO WE ALWAYS DO WHAT OTHERS WANTS US TO DO? Did you see how our friends are not only controlling how we dress but how we look like, how we sit like, how we speak, how we behave !! Why are they the ones to judge us? Think about it !

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3. Why do we even have relatives? :-

Well some of them are sometimes good but most of them, most of the time are nothing but a pain in the ass ! Yes, we all know how relatives poke their noses in our chores when they do nothing except telling us where are we wrong. Arrghh, even thinking about them frustrates me. Especially where I am from, relatives are not liked by ANYBODY but still, everything is done ACCORDING TO THEM!! Can you see the irony here? Such foolishness I tell you. People in India have the biggest purpose of life as – keeping their relatives satisfied when they actually hate them. So there is no doubt that they do everything possible to keep them happy. In fact, the biggest decision of our life which is – MARRIAGE is done at a time, at a place and with a person who makes our relatives happy. See how they control our lives to such a great extend !! Come on guys wake up and take control of your own life. When would you understand?

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4. School Teachers :-

So when I was in my school, I and my classmates had to follow really strict USELESS discipline !! I do support discipline. But why do you need to be SO strict and apply SUCH useless rules? School days are the most crucial and important days of every person’s life. At a place where students should be taught how to take responsibility for our lives, they teach us how to ALLOW others to take responsibility for OUR lives. They indirectly teach us how to GIVE CONTROL to others instead. They rule over us, tell us what’s right and wrong, impose their thinking on us, kill our originality, teach us to be like them, follow the rules which they think are right, turn us into a machine, a robot and then after the program is inserted into our minds, we follow it all our lives without even knowing that it’s not us but them. We get controlled all our lives and we don’t even realize it.

5. Our life partner:-

Do I even need to explain this one? There are very fewer couples who actually live their life as a team. Otherwise, most of them are either being dominated by the other or is the one dominating the other. In both cases, the one who is getting dominated is being controlled. Everything is done as per the wishes of the significant other !! It’s sad how marriage is actually making people bound each other and leaving them helpless instead of bringing together two souls to spread love and unity. The concept of marriage is no purer as it was thought to be when it was introduced. (Not in my country for sure !)

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6. Kids complete a family but make an individual incomplete:-

Everyone likes kids !! Everyone WANTS kids (of course their own). Only a few parents actually nurture their kids perfectly. Most of the kids are not loved and nurtured the way they should. Because the parents are so disturbed all the time. Everyone has some or the other problem in their lives. Isn’t it? But most of us only get tensed and stressed instead of trying to find a solution. That’s where every parent is busy most of the time and the kids miss all the love and attention.

While there is a way out to regain control when it comes to other people but not when it comes to your own kids. Not until they turn into an adult. You WILL have to live your life according to them to provide them with perfect upbringing or else they will grow into a very disturbed person without even knowing why are they too disturbed. But after they grow up, you SHOULD repossess your control on your life. If you gave them a good and supportive childhood, it would be easy for them to take control of their own life. If not, you will have to be there for them on every step making them dependent and since they won’t be able to do anything alone, you will have to do everything according to them, thus never giving the complete power of your life to you.

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7. People who give a shit about your life:-

This involves your friends, relatives, partner and everyone else who actually care for you. Whatever they tell you to do with your life needs to be listened to but remember, it is THEIR way of living. Sometimes, what others think is right for you might not be correct for you. For example no matter how much our parents care for us, but if at times, they ask you to adopt a specific career which YOU don’t like or ask you to marry at a time, or with a person whom YOU don’t believe in, they CAN be wrong. So, just take suggestions from the ones who care about you, but don’t hand over the control of YOUR life in their hands.

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8. People who don’t give a shit about your life. :-

This also involves the same people I described above but here, they don’t actually care about you. They can be your relatives, your partner, your brother or anyone else! They show that they care, but they actually don’t !! And the interesting part is that we give them the complete right to do whatever they want in OUR life. Crazy isn’t it? Just recognize these people. Whether what they ask you to do satisfies their perspective or yours? Don’t let them control you.

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9. Media :-

When we were kids the only way media could manipulate our thinking pattern was through songs. Because movies though are somewhat not allowed to be watched by kids until they are specially made for them. The songs being played in the school bus, on radio, in marriages and functions are the ones that are mostly fed into a child’s brain. Later, movies add in the list and then comes the news. Since childhood, the media has been manipulating us by establishing their own norms without us even knowing about it. We always believe that whatever is shown on the television is COOL and acceptable
and we try to follow them !! Again, we always believe that this mindset is ours when actually it was of the media !! Don’t let the media control you. Think about whatever you believe is actually your thinking or somebody else’s?

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9. The society as a whole :-

The society, no doubt puts restriction on us, especially when someone says or does something which has never been done before. Ever wondered why we all act a different way when we are with someone else or in between the crowd. You think you do it so that you don’t look like a fool being YOURSELF. Whereas the truth is that you are YOU and society has no right to judge you. They are not God to judge anyone. This is how society indirectly controls your behaviour.

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11. The monkeys :-

You are afraid to do anything new because you are afraid of the response of the people. I call these people “the monkeys”. They are afraid of change because change is difficult and when someone starts a revolution, they oppose. It’s human nature that we don’t want to change because we believe that it will prove us wrong and our ego can’t bear that.

A common thing is correct according to people, no matter how unequal, useless, idiotic or illogical it is. They will keep doing it because everyone else is doing it. These people are proof that we are still monkeys, not evolved human beings!

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What’s the difference between a failure and a successful person’s mindset?

Most of the time, the revolutionists and the individualists are buried in the crowd by the society. Only because of a few persistent and stubborn individualists, this world is able to upgrade itself and this is the way you can suppress the monkeys dancing on your head. Keep doing your thing, no matter what the monkeys say. We are developed in technology, we are quite modernized. It all happened just because of some people who never gave up to bring change. Be like those people !!

They were some people, who broke their chains and didn’t listen to the society. You too can be added to the list but you won’t, because you will give up. Only a minimal percentage of the total succeeds in bringing a change.
So the question here is that is the society responsible for our failures or we ourselves?

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Boys too are tied in these chains, but girls suffer more from it. People try to westernize, but when it comes to giving liberty to women, we forget westernization.

I will not talk about the restrictions that women face. It can be found everywhere else. Here, I will talk about the importance of breaking these restrictions, who actually is responsible for it and how to do that?

How to reconquer the control of your life?

No matter boy or girl, if you believe in something that the world doesn’t, go for it. Even if you are proved wrong in the end by the world, it’s still no harm !! Why?? Because if you wouldn’t be able to change the world, then at least your mindset would change, and change is necessary, change is good.
What’s good is that someone will change, either you or the world, so go for it. Don’t give up. Don’t be frightened of failure. People can fail because they are people, not Gods. People might taunt you but don’t take it seriously. Let the dogs bark. It’s what they can do. You do what YOU can do.

So again, the question is, who is to blame? Would you blame a dog for barking? Or would you blame yourself for giving up because of those dogs? Obviously, obstacles are always there, but instead of whining and questioning God or your life, question yourself!

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No matter who is restricting you, either others or you yourself, you need to come out of it or you will never know what could’ve taken place if you would have fought instead of crying.

You would never know how you could have become the next person to change this world. You would never be aware of your true potential and your true capabilities if you give up, and if you don’t break your chains !!

Do you think what I said is correct? Leave your opinions in the comments below. SHARE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP YOUR FRIENDS THROUGH THIS ARTICLE !!

(If someone wants to connect to me to learn the correct forms of meditation, they can contact me on Instagram or facebook. It is completely free of cost. Links to my social sites can be found on the topmost right corner of my website.)





Himshweta is a writer, life coach & a stage performer. She writes poetries, articles, lyrics, dialogues, scripts, advertisements etc. Her writings have helped many people view life & the world from a different perspective which is not just positive but enlightening as well. What makes her writings different from everybody is that they hold a blend of philosophy, spirituality and psychology. _To book a life coaching session with Himshweta, fill this form :- https://forms.gle/pLAmxgLzjQpKcRyf8_

This Post Has 18 Comments

  1. Thank you so much mam for article.
    I feel everything in your article.
    Your every point, every aspect are really touching my soul.
    Thanx again.
    Be safe.
    Stay away from street dogs.

  2. Hi, himshweta
    We live in society where there is some sort of dependency on others. Life goes around in such a way indeed, but if someone is controlling your life then their is problem. We need to figure out this difference in the two as well.
    Again a well organised bunch of thoughts. Keep writing and keep spreading positivity👌♥️

  3. True !

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